SIR Bidwell Branch 110 Humor
May 2024

Coming up with a good name for your baby isn't easy.
Still! Some people took to Reddit to share the more outlandish names they've encountered.
1. One person knew triplets named Cinnamon, Rosemary and Paprika People called them the Spice Girls.
2. Another person did contract-based IT work.
They recently worked with an office manager named Moronica.
3. A man's partner is a midwife.
She once looked after a couple who were intending to call their daughter Urethra.
They didn't know what it meant, they just liked how it sounded.
4. A man's wife worked in a bank and had a customer named Dextrose.
Always wondered if he had siblings named Sucrose and Fructose.
5. Lice. Pronounced "Lih-say."
6. KVIIITLYN. Pronounced "Kaitlun."
7. One person had once met a woman who named her sons Doral and Viceroy.
The person asked the woman, "Like the cigarettes?"
She said, "Yes, those were my daddy's favorite smokes."

A born and bred New Yorker is in the country when he sees a field of animals and says to the farmer, "What a strange-looking cow.
Why doesn't it have horns?"
"There are several reasons," the farmer replies.
"Some cows get their horns late, others have their horns cut off, and still others never grow horns."
"And this cow?" the city man asks.
"Well, the reason this cow doesn't have any horns is because it's a horse."

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
"MickieMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento."
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

Q: What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A: A Synonym roll.

Q: What do you call Irishman bouncing off the wall?
A: Rick O'shay.

Karl Marx is a historically philosopher but no-one ever mentions his sister, Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol.

I read that, by law, you have to turn on your headlights when it's raining in Sweden.
How am I supposed to know that it's raining in Sweden?

A man was stationed at Fort Wainwright near Fairbanks, Alaska, when he and two buddies were given passes for the weekend.
They got a ride into town with a man in civvies and asked him where a trio of young guys could find some action in Fairbanks.
Looking disappointed, the driver admonished, "I happen to be the base chaplain."
"Then let me put it this way," said one of the men.
"Can you suggest some places we should avoid?"

A man's son was stationed on an Air Force base in northern Maine.
When he went home to relatively balmy Pennsylvania, a friend asked about the weather in Maine.
"Maine," he explained, "has four seasons: early winter, mid-winter, late winter and next winter."

A woman was doing research for an article she was writing about how kids can learn about insects.
Wondering who she might interview, she told her husband, "I need to find an entomologist."
He just shook his head.
"What's wrong now?"
"You're always going to the doctor for one thing or the other."

Lance is a very uncommon name nowadays.
But in medieval times people were called Lance a lot.

Q: Why do French people eat snails?
A: Because they don't like fast food.

Q: Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?
A: It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Bread is like the sun.
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

A policeman was on patrol when his police radio crackled.
It was from dispatch, advising that a large, naked male wearing a turban was running in and out of traffic, threatening drivers and pedestrians with a sword.
With tongue firmly in cheek, the policeman replied, "Dispatch, do you have a color on that turban."

A zoo manager was sending an email requesting new animals.
He wrote, "I want to order two mongooses," but that didn't seem right.
So he rewrote it: "I would like to order two mongeeses."
That looked even weirder.
Finally, he started over and wrote, "No zoo should be without a mongoose.
I would like to order two."

The bar where a person worked was in a rough neighborhood.
So, when a new bartender had to close alone, she understandably didn't want to leave the cash in the till.
But since her boss had neglected to tell her where to stow it overnight, she placed the money in a bag and stuck it where no thief would find it.
Concerned that the morning shift wouldn't find it either, she left this note on the cash register: "Moneybag is in the ice machine."

If your dentist fixed your cavities with mixed colors, would it be ok or would you have mixed fillings?

If someone from Holland married a Filipino.
Would their kids be Hollapinos?

Q: Where did the terminator find toilet paper?
A: Aisle B, back.

Breaking news!
Man gets hit by a rental car.
Said it Hertz.

My neighbor gave me a new roof for free, he said it was on the house.

Q: What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
A: Anna one, Anna two!

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